April 30, 2010

Ask Pastor Ray

Here’s a helpful answer from Pastor Ray to the question, Should I Pray for the Job I Really Want?

For more answers to common questions, see his FAQ page.  And if you have a question, send him a note.

April 29, 2010

Revelation

My daughter Emily first told me about Kari Jobe.  This is one of my favorite songs.  Worship along with her as she sings it.

April 29, 2010

Be a Coach to Your Children

I’m sure that as you look around you see other families who have rather strange relationships with their kids. Some parents seem to have a boss/servant relationship with their children, as if the parents own their kids. They order them around as if they were slaves, being demanding about obedience and respect.
Others act like policemen allowing children to do anything they want within boundaries. When the children move outside the boundaries then the parent blows the whistle to get them back in line. Other parents have a little prince relationship with their children. These parents go out of their way to make their children happy, sometimes trying to make up for their own unhappiness as a child.

A better analogy is the one that views the parent as a coach. Your children need training every day, involving teaching, correcting, firmness, and encouragement. A coach builds a relationship with the child, recognizes weaknesses and equips the child to succeed. When a runner falls down, a good coach doesn’t condemn but motivates to excellence through support and encouragement. The coach and the athlete are both on the same side, working to make that young person successful.

Don’t let childish problems like anger, impulsiveness, or meanness motivate you to become an opponent to your children, allowing the problem to come between you. Instead, partner with your children, moving the problem to the side, with you and your child working together to conquer it. Your attitude in conflict will mean all the difference for a child who needs to be coached out of immaturity. Children need to know that their parents believe in them. It helps them in the deepest areas of their hearts.
In what ways do you see yourself as a coach to your kids? Click here to tell us about it.

This parenting tip is from the book, Home Improvement, The Parenting Book You Can Read to Your Kids by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. Since each chapter begins with a fictional story that continues from chapter to chapter, it’s the parenting book you can read to your kids.

Here’s another excellent article called The Four Phases of Parenthood. We’ve seen these four phases in our own parenting—Commander, Coach, Counselor, and Consultant.  Which hat are you wearing right now?

April 28, 2010

Sibling Rivalry

Our topic for Sunday will be “Keep the Siblings, Lose the Rivalry.” 

Here’s a good article by Grace Stopani that I found to be quite helpful.

Sibling conflict is as old as Cain and Abel, as legendary as Cinderella and her stepsisters and can be as deadly as the daughters of King Lear. Parents should know the battles are inevitable and must prepare their kids to defuse potentially ugly situations. And there will be times when parents must come to a child’s defense and say, “We are family, and we will not say anything that doesn’t build up one another. We will respect each other.”

Use these tips for encouraging kindness in the home:

Teach mutual respect. Do not allow your children to insult one another. Words are extremely powerful, and snide comments can damage deeply. Experts say every negative comment needs at least five positive remarks to even out. Teach your children to be kind and to appreciate each other.

Do not play favorites. In Genesis, we see the damage done by Jacob’s favoritism of Joseph. Remember that all children are created equal, but not all children are the same. Recognize and praise each child’s individual skills, strengths and accomplishments without implying that one child is somehow better.

Teach conflict-management. Do not deny your child’s feelings, but help him learn to express emotions in an appropriate way. If you see your child acting jealously, encourage him identify the emotion by saying, “I understand that you feel bad because…” or “I know you hurt because.…” Helping your children figure out the causes of their actions will help them learn how to deal with problems in the future.

Do not ignore good behavior. To attention-starved kids, negative attention is simply attention. Notice your children playing nicely together and reward them with praise. Be sure each child receives adequate parental interest and quality time.

Show appreciation for who your child is, not what he does. When a child feels valuable merely for his performance, he will feel the need to prove his worth. Instead, praise your child for his God-given traits such as compassion or a tender heart. By fostering their self-esteem, children can learn to respect themselves and others.

Most parents realize children imitate what they see, so look at the example you set. Do you compete with your siblings? Or do you consistently show kindness to your brothers and sisters? By checking your actions, you can be better prepared to show your children how to emerge the best of friends following the inevitability of a little sibling conflict.

Here’s another article called Stop Sibling Conflict.

April 27, 2010

A Good Way to Start the Day

April 25, 2010

Ending to Sermon

When I sent the sermon to be posted online I must not have sent the final version because it doesn’t have the closing paragraphs.  Here’s how the sermon ended.

It’s difficult for some of us to worship because we feel so much shame.  Some of you blame yourself for the way your kids are living.  Friends, there’s such a thing as true guilt and false guilt.  True guilt is remedied through the forgiveness of Christ.  False guilt paralyzes parents.

Can I share some really good news with you?  After Adam and Eve sinned, God made garments of skin for them and clothed them.  Their guilt and shame and blame were now clothed by God but a death had to take place.  Instead of executing them, which they deserved, God took the life of a substitutionary animal instead.  Their fig leaves weren’t going to last.  No matter what we do to try to cover up our sin, it won’t work in the long haul.  We can’t run away and hide, we can’t minimize our sins, and blaming somebody else won’t take away our guilt. 

But this is where God steps in.  He makes garments of skin – leather garments!  God permits a substitute to take their place and so started the entire Old Testament sacrificial system.  From Abel on, millions of animals died on altars in place of people.  But the sacrifices weren’t totally sufficient because there was always the need for another one.  That is, until Jesus became the final sacrifice who covered all our sin with His own skin.  And we’ve never had to sacrifice again. (Thanks to Pastor Karl Walther for this idea).

And so today God is asking you a question just like He asked Adam: Where are you?  He’s seeking you.  He’s offering you a covering for your sin and shame so you never need to blame again.  Will you respond to His question today?

April 23, 2010

13 Ways to Mess Up Your Children

Here’s an article worth reading and then printing and then posting and then applying…but do the opposite of each point.

April 23, 2010

Caring Closet

Pass the word to people in need that our Caring Closet will take place tomorrow (Saturday) from 9:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.

April 22, 2010

The Earth is the Lord’s

On this “Earth Day,” let’s remember Psalm 24:1 and Isaiah 40:21-22.

Check out these amazing pictures from TIME Magazine.

April 21, 2010

RIP

Could this farewell be real?

April 19, 2010

Teach Kids to Take a Break

When children need correction, it’s often helpful to have them take a Break. This technique follows a biblical model of correction and focuses on a child’s heart, not just behavior. You can use a Break with children as young as two years old and, with modification, you can use it throughout the teen years. Developing this correction routine when children are young gives them a way to handle offenses as they get older as well.

Taking a Break looks like this. When your daughter is arguing, acting wild, demonstrating defiance, or starting to get angry, tell her that she needs to take a Break. The specific place will vary depending on the situation. With young children, that place may be on the floor in front of the refrigerator or near the bookcase, close to where you are working. For older children it may mean sitting on the bottom step or in the hall. The location isn’t as important as the mission: settle down and come back ready for a debriefing.

When your child takes a Break, it’s important to let him or her help determine the length of time spent there. A child should settle down and then be ready to come back and talk to you. Allowing your child to initiate back when ready is important. If Johnny is ready after a minute and you require that he stay in the Break for fifteen minutes, you may discourage him or miss a teachable moment. On the other hand, if you set the time too short, then you may not be giving enough time for God to fully work. Take the focus off the clock and put it on the heart change that needs to take place.

Your posture, as a parent, is also important. You have the opportunity to stand with open arms, longing for your child to return. It’s as if you’re saying, “Come on now, settle down, and let’s talk about this together.”

Luke 15:20 offers us a beautiful image of a father waiting for his rebellious son to come back to him. The son views home as a place of safety and, although he knows he doesn’t deserve to return to the same benefits, he realizes that he can come back and Dad will accept him. The dad not only welcomes him home but also reinstates all the benefits of being a son. That same picture is painted each time your child takes a Break. You can be ready and waiting for your child to return to you talk about the problem and then enjoy family life.

This parenting tip comes from the book Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN,BSN.  To sign up for these free email parenting tips, see the National Center for Biblical Parenting.

April 17, 2010

Cool Concert

Beth and I went to a concert on Thursday night that was more worship than a show. 

The first singer was Laura Story.  She is very down to earth and sings from her heart.  Much of her music came out of a tough time when her husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor.

We were both pleasantly surprised and moved by the music of a group called Downhere.  They were new to us but I’ve since become familiar with their music (check out their playlist on their site).  Here’s a video of a song they played called, “How Many Kings?”

Aaron Shust capped off the evening with some great music, much of which we have heard on the radio.  Here’s one of the songs.

April 17, 2010

The Duggar’s—Parenting Tips

The Duggar Family is made up of 19 children (and a grandchild).  One of our daughters likes watching them on TV.  I wasn’t aware until I went to their website how Christ-centered they strive to be.

Here are their top 5 parenting principles.

1. Teach our children to love God with all of their heart, soul, mind and strength, and memorize God’s word together as a family.
2. Teach them to have a servant’s heart, leading by your example. Love your neighbor as yourself.
3. Daily read the Proverb of the Day that corresponds with the day of the month and discuss it as a family.
4. Diligently keep up with each child’s attitudes and actions and ask what is going on in their heart. Pray with them one on one letting them lead in prayer and then you closing the prayer time together.
5. Ask God to help you conquer anger because it can destroy your relationship with your children. Praise them ten times more than you correct them.

April 16, 2010

Children of Destiny

Dan Ucherek is singing this song tonight at WCIC’s Opening Act. We can’t make it but we’re praying for Dan!

April 16, 2010

Media Consumption by Children

A study by the Kaiser Foundation has found that children today are consuming almost 8 hours of media each day! 

I’m going to reference this during Sunday’s sermon but thought I’d post it now so you can read it beforehand.

Children spend about four and one-half hours daily in front of the TV, about two and one-half hours listening to music, an hour and a half on the computer, about an hour and a quarter playing video games, and just 38 minutes reading.

April 14, 2010

Miner Got Saved Before Explosion

Check out this story on CNN about how a miner got saved on Easter Sunday and then lost his life in the mine explosion.

April 13, 2010

Blogging Blues

I’ll be back in the blogging saddle soon but for now I’m taking a short break.

April 08, 2010

Father/Son Banquet

It’s not too late to purchase tickets for the Father/Son Banquet to be held this Saturday evening from 6:00 to 8:00 p.m.  My friend Pastor Steve Anderson will be the speaker and Marty Cotter is providing skits and games.  The food will be fantastic because the Murphy family will be the caterers!

I don’t have sons so I’ve asked two boys who don’t have a dad to come with me.

Call the church office for tickets.

April 07, 2010

What If?

This post is very challenging. 

April 06, 2010

Overwhelmed and Exhausted?

Check out these 8 Questions to Ask if You’re Overwhelmed and Exhausted.

April 06, 2010

Distraction and Procrastination

This post is worth pondering.

April 03, 2010

Was it a Morning Like This?

I posted a link to this earlier but now I found a way to embed the video.  My family has been teasing me because I’ve probably watched this at least 10 times this weekend!

Was it a Morning Like This from Harvest Bible Chapel on Vimeo.

April 02, 2010

He’s My King!

I’ve posted this before but I love listening to it on Good Friday.

April 02, 2010

Walking to the Cross

I arrived in Taxco, Mexico on Good Friday morning and began my ascent up the mountain in search of the town plaza.  When I finally got there, I saw hundreds of people who looked like they were waiting for something.  Some were perched in trees, others were standing on park benches, and still others were looking out the windows of area buildings that lined the town square.  I picked my spot and headed for the second floor balcony of a restaurant where I could take everything in while enjoying a good Mexican meal.

As I sat at my table overlooking the crowd below, a group of younger guys grabbed the table next to mine.  I smiled at my fellow gringos and dug into my quesadilla, hoping they wouldn’t block my view of the plaza.  They ordered pizza and beer and began telling jokes.

And then, as if on cue, the crowd below parted and I saw a man carrying a huge wood beam on his back.  He walked slowly, and with great effort, as he struggled to keep his balance.  Another man followed.  He put his cross down, took out a whip and started beating his back.  Bright red blood appeared on top of the lacerations he had from a previous whipping.  I kept hoping he would stop because it looked so painful.  But he didn’t.  He kept thrashing himself until the whip had turned red and raw muscle was exposed on his lower back.  When he fell to the cobblestone street, tears ran down my face and splashed into my Diet Coke.

By now the guys at the table next to me had started to make fun of the procession below.  In between their joking, they would look down, make a funny remark and go back to their pizza, oblivious to the pain and agony right in front of them.  I wanted to say something to them but I was too choked up.  Here I was, looking at a few men who were doing all they could to relate to the suffering Jesus went through and sitting right next to guys who could care less.

As I thought about this, it struck me that this is a good picture of the human race.  Some of us are trying to do everything we can think of to get to heaven.  We focus on trying to be good, or when that fails, we punish ourselves in the vain hope that God will accept our sacrifices.  Others are just cruising through life, focused more on having a good time than on eternal realities.  To people like this, life is just a party. 

When I looked at the irreligious guys next to me and then gazed at the religious men down below, I swallowed hard because neither approach will get you to heaven.  The only way to gain God’s favor and enjoy the benefits of forgiveness and eternal life is by entering into a relationship with Jesus.  During this Easter season, lean on the one who walked to the Cross and died in your place.  Put your faith and trust in Him.  Receive Him as your Savior and Lord (see John 1:12; 5:24 and 14:6).

April 01, 2010

He is Risen!

Check out this video clip from Harvest Bible Chapel’s Easter Service last year.  The song is very moving.

Don’t forget that our service on Good Friday is at 7:00 p.m. and is called, “It’s Friday But Sunday’s Coming.”

We will have two Easter Sunday services at 9:00 and 10:45.  Ask God to help you invite five people.

April 01, 2010

PBC - Praying Bible Church!

Over the last several Sundays we have encouraged people to sign up for a 10-minute time slot to pray for our Good Friday and Easter Sunday services.  This morning I went through all the sheets and counted more than 300 names!  In addition, many people signed up for multiple time slots—some as early as 3:30 in the morning and others as late as 11:30 at night.

Let’s keep praying.  The services will be creative but we want to see God’s Spirit move in mighty ways (see Zechariah 4:6).

Here’s a section from this week’s email prayer letter.  Let’s pray this right now.

Here is another Armor of God Prayer:  “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.”  Ephesians 6:10-11.  Thank you, Lord, that you provide this belt of truth.  Please help me to discern the half truths and the lies hurled at me by the enemy.  And when they scream for entry at the doorway of my mind, help me to refuse both - to receive them or believe them.

Thank you for the breastplate that protects my heart and my emotions keeping me from being wounded by the jibes of others, or being bound by fear of the reactions of those whose good opinion is so important to me.  Banish compromise please, Lord, enabling me to do what’s right – consistently.

And as I wear these running shoes of the readiness to share your love, keep me from being sidetracked, Lord, or from avoiding the stony paths.  Help me to be ready to go wherever you may send me, and prepared to set out at a moment’s notice.

I’m grateful, Lord, that with the shield of faith I have protection from head to toe.  No flaming arrows of doubt or of despair can pierce my heart while it is in position.  I’ll operate by faith in what God said and not in outward situations.

Thank you, Lord, that with the helmet of your salvation comes freedom from old thoughts and habit patterns.  That you renew my mind, transform it as I allow your Word to shape my life, infusing everything I do or say or write.

So keep me standing, Lord, alert and prayerful.  Rejoicing in the fact that the battle is already won.  (Thanks to Shirley Dunning for submitting this prayer, “The Whole Armor” by Marion Stroud (Dear God, It’s Me and It’s Urgent).

 

 

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